Abuse Prevention Advocate
Behavioral Health Youth Care Worker
Founder of ‘Face Of A Survivor’
As a child my mother told me I would never be successful, that I was only one person and I would never be able to make a difference in the world…
Sometimes we are scared of change, whether it’s change from people, places or things.
Emotions, unhealthy coping skills, negative mindset conditioning can be a huge factor in our choices. It can affect the way we see life and how we react to certain situations. If we come from different levels of trauma or abuse these factors are heightened even more so.
Growing up in a negative mindset can be more challenging to transform in adulthood, but it is possible. So, how do you begin the transformation….
STEP 1) First Identify The Problem: What don’t you like? What upsets you? What makes you feel hesitant? What are you feeling in your gut? Make a list of thoughts to identify negative thinking.
STEP 2) Challenge Thoughts: Challenge negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Work on positive self-talk daily, (I’m deserving! I’m worthy! I’m strong! I’ve come a long way! I’m a thriving Survivor! I am powerful!). Make a list of what you are proud of yourself for. Turn to a healthy coping mechanism or grounding techniques, (painting, dancing, writing, meditation, etc..). Make a list of what makes you happy and keeps you busy.
Step 3) Surround Yourself With A Healthy Support System: Join like-minded groups, clubs. Start disconnecting from toxic people (3 steps of disconnecting: physically, mentally, emotionally). Ask for help ( counseling, therapy, experts). Put yourself first, take time to rest but don’t ever quit.
STEP 4) Practice: This won’t change over night. Progress is a process. When practiced daily these steps will become automatic.
Understand that even when starting and maintaining all of these steps you will have triggers. At times you might revert back to the old unhealthy mindset, but do not let that failure define you. You will always have failures but YOU ARE NOT THE FAILURE!